I have been employed or working under contract for most of the time since the divorce. And today I'm gearing up to start a new job so that I can get some money, but more importantly so that my kids will get some money. And yes, the dinosaur will be fed and happy in the next month.
Say YES to all the things that give you joy. Invitations, even when you are not feeling all that great, say YES.
When I was younger and my parents began to struggle with a long protracted divorce, I begged for Jesus/God to help them stay together. I prayed all the time for my dad to stop killing himself with alcohol and cigarettes.
It's hard when you're on the receiving end of someone else's trigger. But we can get better at identifying our own triggers and triggered moments. And there are ways to help our partners notice when the rage or sadness that is coming out of them, might be a bit bigger or deeper than the infraction that caused the initial pain.