I can still wish the best for you. I can still love you and what we had together, while letting you drift peacefully out of my life. I can allow the silence to heal the loss between us.
You can start on your own. Write about your early childhood traumas. What are the things that hurt you? What things happened with no adult around to give you safety and comfort? Today, your writing and speaking can re-experience this event with a new more holistic experience.
I did learn to love full-on in this marriage. I learned to put my whole soul into the project and come back with the joy of being a parent, and being in love, and being married. This total commitment is part of what blindsided me in the divorce.