A Dad’s Path After Divorce Is Hard and Lonely
I lost everything in that moment. I lost my fighting spirit. I agreed to the Standard Possession Order (SPO) schedule and I agreed to let my wife be the custodial parent.
I lost everything in that moment. I lost my fighting spirit. I agreed to the Standard Possession Order (SPO) schedule and I agreed to let my wife be the custodial parent.
Divorce is not the end of the world. However, it's often the end of most dad's major bonding and influence with his kids. Most divorces end with dads being marginalized by the family court precedents.
I walk away from this story knowing I did everything I could to keep the marriage alive. And after the divorce, I've done everything I can (outside of shutting down my writing) to be a good father, a good man, and a reasonable person.
What you can do, is support your kids with all of your heart and mind. And, in this case, when the other parent poops out and is too self-absorbed, you can step in and be the solid presence in your kids' lives.
1. Focus on yourself and your health/ 2. Give your kids 110% of your available attention / 3. Shutdown the angry communications with your ex
You can't have kids by yourself. Your partner is just as important. Why would it be different when you no longer live together?
However, there's a different type of person out there. I was married to one. I have known of others. And they have a different set of criteria. They have flexibility when it comes to transparency and honesty.
In other words, 2 of the 5 people involved in our family system don't drink or smoke pot. That's a start.