Mindfulness is not hard to understand.
Understanding mindfulness is not mindfulness.
Practicing mindfulness in your daily life is a process, a habit, that once you embrace and understand can make significant improvements in your quality of life and even your health.
How Do You Smooth Your Own Feathers
During the course of any day in our lives, we’re going to run into people, places, and events that unsettle our inner calm. Here are a few ways I self-soothe by bringing my brain back into alignment with my inner-buddha nature.
- several deep breaths
- walk outside in nature
- listen to calming music (often without lyrics)
- make and blow on a cup of tea
- call a friend
- go to an al-anon meeting
- support someone else’s cause
- give comfort to someone in your life
- talk to my kids
- kiss my partner
- pet the dogs
- wrestle with the dogs
- say the serenity prayer like a mantra
At this moment in time, I don’t have a cat. (My girlfriend is allergic, so I’m looking for a Burmese.) But, I would put cuddling with or petting a cat as one of the more zen-soothing activities. Of course, you first have to have a cat (have nurtured a cat) that’s into zen.
Energetically, when I am upset I am not going to make the best decisions. To the degree that I’m upset, that’s the degree to which I will fk stuff up, when I’m triggered.
Recovering Your Calm
First step: awareness of your ruffled feathers | “I’m really pissed about …”
Second step: is it within my reach? | “I can change this situation by doing …”
Third step: it is out of my reach | “I will let go of other people’s business”
Fourth step: take physical action toward your reset | “I’m heading out back with the dogs for a minute.”
Fifth step: serenity now | “And the wisdom to know the difference.”
In my life, the serenity prayer has gotten me through most bumps. Here’s the mantra I use most often to soothe myself.
God, grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change
The courage to change the things I can
And the wisdom to know the difference.
Onward into the calm of compassion for myself and my people.
John McElhenney – life coach austin texas
Facebook | Instagram | @wholeparent
Table of Contents
- observer – pause (ghost on the ceiling + next right action)
- affirmations – changing your thoughts by prayer and repetition
- energy = mood – lessons in self-awareness and consumption
- defining your scale – 1 (depression) to 10 (manic)
- self-compassion – go easy on yourself during the hard times
self-soothing – how you nurture and lift yourself back up
- listening with intention – give your attention to someone else’s pain
- up and out – interrupting sadness and loneliness
- defining a path – where do you want to go in your life
- refining your goals – along the journey it is important to reset
- full-stop reset – when everything feels out of balance
- resting in hope – hope is the key to unlocking energy and recovery
How I Can Help
I am a relationship coach and a dating coach. I coach women in small groups as well as individual 1 x 1 zoom calls. If you have questions about life coaching I am happy to talk to you. Please schedule a phone call HERE.
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- mindfulness < a new index of happiness and hope
- MNDFL + MFKR (You can be either, better to be both)
- “You Look Tired” Let’s Talk About Living Your Best Life
- Here and Now: Returning To Peace, Learning Patience
Here are my books on Amazon:
- Single Dad Seeks: Dating Again After Divorce: Advice and Strategies on Learning How to be Loved Again
- Fall of the House of Dad: My journey through divorce, from loss to joy, again and again
- A Good Dad’s Guide to Divorce: One father’s quest to stay connected with his children
- The Sex Index: Getting Our Love Languages Right in the Bedroom
- Here Comes the Darkness: Surviving and Thriving After a Mental Illness Diagnosis
- The Third Glass: When Drinking Becomes an Issue
- The Storm Before the Divorce: When One Parent Wants Out, That’s the End
Now Available from Amazon