Cupid’s Arrow strikes in the first 5 seconds: either you get a hit or not.
Tinder is the hottest thing in online dating since online dating. It’s simple. Picture pops up you swipe right to say YES you swipe left to say NOPE. That’s it. And I’m noticing several interesting effects of this new brain training game.
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As I’m learning to take this “dating” concept less seriously, I can see how Tinder has taken off.
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Perhaps the initial reaction, like an intuition or gut reaction is actually more accurate than our considered response. When I go too far into their profile: 1. other pictures; 2. similar likes on Facebook (the Tinder datastream); 3. profile descriptions (usually unoriginal dating fodder) I begin to get influenced more by MY projections. All of these secondary signals are more confusing to the heart, they muddy up the initial reaction with “consideration.” That’s not the magic of Tinder. The magic is the swipe.
And in the swiping you begin to see interesting patterns in your YES and NOPE preferences. Here are a few of mine, that I’ve only learned from swiping over time.
- Lipstick can be a real turn off.
- I prefer dark hair.
- Weight is less of an issue until “consideration” sets in.
- Smiles and happy eyes shine through.
- My preferences trend towards hippie-ish (low: makeup, high: joy).
- I’m a bit racist in my dating preferences.
And there have been some funny concepts that I’ve started putting together around the various types of people who pop into your viewfinder on Tinder.
3-fer: when three women are in the initial photo and you’re like, “Nope. Nope. Nope.”
Trifecta: when three women are in the initial photo and one of them is cute, but are they cute enough for more “consideration?”
Horns of a Dilemma: when there are two girls in the picture but you can’t decide which one is cuter. The dilemma, do you “consider” or swipe left on principle?
Wing-girl: when two women are in the initial photo and you immediately know which woman is the “friend.”
WTF girl?: when the photo is so bad, you go into “consideration” mode just to see what other horrible photos this person has put up.
Zombie-arm girl: when the best picture of them is obviously on the arm of an ex so they just cropped them out of the photo. Creepy.
Maybe-means-no: when you reject the initial swipe left to “consider” someone just because you’ve had ZERO hits on Tinder.
Too-Hot: when their photo is so amazing you know they’re either “working women” looking for work, or trolling for fun.
“Not Looking for a Hookup” bios: um, yeah, you’re on Tinder for a LTR, right? (Long Term Romance.)
As I’m learning to take this “dating” concept less seriously, I can see how Tinder has taken off. I’m offline at the moment, but I’ll be back in the game shortly. I just needed a reset and reboot. 2015 looks bright.
Always Love,
John McElhenney
@wholeparent
back to Dating After Divorce
Reference: How to Win a Breakup – the Atlantic
related posts:
- Getting Good At Blameless Breakups
- Why Online Dating is a Distraction and Not a Solution
- The 6-Step Relationship Strategy
- Unlocking Touch – The Love Language I Speak
- Ready or Not-Ready for a Relationship: The Dating Game
image: the mindy project uses tinder, creative commons usage
