Once your kids are out of the house, learning to find yourself and what makes you happy, is much more important than seeking your next sexual partner. In fact, I believe the first step to divorce or breakup recovery is finding your own inner joy again.
When contemplating a long-term relationship, unaddressed issues will not get fixed on their own. They will fester until one partner breaks either with anger or acting out. And if the issue has been around for more than 6-months you owe it to yourself and your partner to address it head-on.
When divorce with children is your path be prepared for a lot of highs and lows. You can do it. And your efforts will be rewarded later. Your kids will never know what you went through to stay in their lives, but they will appreciate your presence and loving guidance well into adulthood.
How do you find your community? Can you bring more creative energy to your life path? Do you know what things give you aspirational ideas? How can you begin to celebrate and nurture your own Alive Tribe?
Let go of your anger in any way you can, that does not involve your kids or your ex. And rebuild your best life by focusing on your actions and words. Move forward towards the hope that your kids will be healthy and undamaged by the divorce.
Many men get tossed into the deadbeat dad category by their wives who are looking to score the package, regardless of the dad's parenting skills, their loving availability for their kids, and often discounting the dads even if they are the ones who hold down the emotional and logistical side of the household.
If you end most workdays with a loss of motivation and deep exhaustion, I'd like to invite you to dig deeper and get to the heart of what keeps you there, and what you could begin to change if you knew where you wanted to go.
Work on the feedback loop in all interactions with your partner. If you can get the core link between the two of you solid and healthy, you can move together towards a jointly-imagined horizon. Don't settle. Don't let things get off track. Always speak your truth.