Yes, kids are expensive, but they should be equally shared as an expense and as a joy. This 70/30 split is bullshit. It's demeaning to fathers. And it's based on a parenting concept from the 50's. Sure it makes it easier on the courts if everyone just goes with the plan. But don't. If you want the time with your kids, fight for it.
Anger is a slippery fish for me. My dad's anger was so pervasive and dangerous that none of my family members ever got a handle on how to deal with anger. Here are some of my issues/fears about anger.
In the arena of relationship-building, I'm getting bloody, getting high, and getting killed. And I'm ready to get back up and give it another go.
Are you able to move towards your partner, your relationship, your co-creation of a shared vision? As long as the answer is "YES" from both of you the journey of discovery can continue.
Keep interrupting the stories you are telling yourself and others. Take control of your thoughts and actions by pausing in the moment and recentering then resetting your trajectory.
Finding the Positive in 2021 was a challenge. And as we round the corner into the holidays, I'd like to recap my work for the year and see how my sentiment ran for the holistic side of The Whole Parent.
If you understand your desire and what you want (both in a partner, in a sexual experience, and in life) you can take clear and intentional actions toward that goal. Your desire is your guide and your fuel. Your path is always towards what you want. Tuning into your desire is step one.
If you're going to have kids, I think both parents should agree to co-parent after divorce in the same manner that they agreed to co-parent as partners even before they have children.