Men need places to share, commune, be men. We need a rallying point online, a private community, a group, a tribe, a fire circle dance. We need other men to confirm, console, and cajole us. Men need other men.
Man Oustanding in his field is a funny term. The joke is where this idea came from. We all need to be outstanding. In today’s environment, we need to each be more outstanding, more conscious, more kind, more masculine, and more sensitive. The road ahead has plenty of challenges for men and women. But, my background, as a man, a father, a son, a partner, and an ex-husband, has taken me through a lot of trials and tribulations. We can learn a lot from each other, as men. Will you join me?
Here’s the real idea behind this program. Men need places to share, commune, be men. We need a rallying point online, a private community, a group, a tribe, a fire circle dance. We need other men to confirm, console, and cajole us. Men need other men.
I have done a lot of men’s work. I was part of the men’s movement of the ’90s marked by Robert Bly’s Iron John (RIP Mr. Bly, our fearless poet) and wildman gatherings. I helped found MAN! Magazine with John Lee, Dan Jones, Lyman Grant, Bill Brusy as an outshoot of the Austin Men’s Center. We published a national magazine for 2+ years. We put on retreats. We worked on the deep masculine wounding in men’s groups. We went on vision quests in the hills above Las Vegas, NM. We looked for ourselves, and sought knowledge and comfort in our brothers’ stories and hugs.
Today, we are suffering from a lack of connection worldwide. Men’s movements and men’s work have fallen out of fashion. As part of The Good Men Project and The Mankind Project, I am committed to seeking and supporting other men in their adventures. We’ve got a lot to learn from both younger and older men. We’ve got lessons that can only be learned as men, away from the moms, lovers, daughters, girlfriends of our daily lives. We men need to return to our tribal culture, our culture of men. Men doing manly things. Men building fires, cooking meals, sitting quietly on the mountain top seeking the God (or Higher Power) of our choosing.
We’ve lost touch with our deep masculine culture. We’ve accepted the weak male role of the sensitive man. We’ve watched our fellow men get meaner and tougher. We’ve aggrandized brutal sports like cage fighting and boxing. We’re all part of Fight Club, and we aren’t talking about it. We’re not talking with each other. We’re not talking to anyone. And in this silence, we’ve gotten how to talk to ourselves as well. We’re alone in the wilderness. But we don’t have to be.
This is an idea. A dream. A goal. A way of life.
I want to demonstrate in my own life, the Oustanding man I can be. I want to be the best man I can be. I want to support other men. I want to support women and their struggles for balance and equality. I want to give younger men an upper hand on their growth and maturity if I can. I want to listen to my elders and learn from the wisdom of their experiences. I want a father figure. I want to nurture and coach young men as they find their way in life.
Man Outstanding is an ideal I am striving for. I will attempt to articulate this more clearly as time and efforts go forward.
The field is where we can meet. Today it’s Zoom and perhaps a meetup here and there. But we need to find each other in our own fields. It’s also a metaphor for career, passion, art, calling. What’s your “field?”
I’m going to take this slow. I’ve registered the domain manoutstanding.com but it only points to this page at this point. If you are called to join me in this idea, join me as a firestarter and mentor, hit me up here on The Whole Parent, or email me directly at john.mcelhenney at gmail dot com.
That’s it, today it’s an idea. Tomorrow it may grow wings and give us men a place to join and support each other.
Namasté,
John McElhenney – life coach austin texas
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I am a relationship coach and a dating coach. I coach women in 1 x 1 zoom or facetime calls. I work in monthly blocks (4 sessions). We establish a relationship. I become your wingman in navigating and sorting through the bullshit of dating and relationships. If you are here, you’ve probably already read some of my opinions. If we’re a fit, we will both know on our first call.
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References:
an idea waiting to be born, will you join the call to manhood?
tags: #men #mensgroups #masculinity #depression #mentalhealth #campfire #boystomen #supportingmen #mentoo