People are dying all around us. And we are dying a little bit every day.
A friend reached out today, asking if I recalled a woman who we’d played tennis with several times. She was one of the happiest people you’d ever meet. New to tennis, and crushing it. And then she’s gone. Unexpectedly. Quickly. Privately.
Love Who You Love At 100%
Today is the day to start loving at the top of your game. Don’t settle for mediocre. Don’t give in to relationships that are not worth your time. When you break up, leave, move on, and get with someone who truly values your partnership.
The first person you need to learn to love is yourself. I’m not so good at this one. It’s much easier for me to adore someone else. I tend to put my eggs fully in someone’s basket even before I have evidence that they are authentic and worthy of my love. Now, to be fair, most of the failures we not intentional. We tried. We failed. And in several relationships, I took me more than one breakup to get out.
Here are a couple of things I’m working on with myself:
- I’m never going to get younger, what am I putting off?
- I may never get back to my ideal weight, but I can love myself in all my weights
- I keep striving to be a good partner
- I keep my exercise schedule full, and I stay optimistic about my future
- I love ice cream more than abs
Life Is Short
When things are going your way, the “life is short” and “life is good” mottos feel good. When you’re depressed, time expands into inconceivable pain. Seeing a “life is good” t-shirt could make me sad when I was not doing well.
I have been working for most of my adult life to contain and manage the damage of my depressive illness. I’m just now, learning how to be easy on myself about my own DOWN periods. Acceptance is the most important first step.
Next, you’ve got to get your game plan in place.
- What you eat and drink
- How much sleep you get
- How much exercise you get
- Things you do for fun
- Ways that you can break out of isolation
- Feeling loved by yourself is step one
- Finding someone to love is not a solution
How can you love someone else, if you can’t even love yourself?
Today, I want to take each moment at full face value. Even if I’m working (doing something I get paid for) I need to be present and energetic. By becoming mindful, I can remain confident and consistent even when I’m working on something that is unpleasant. It is time to take charge of your life and your time.
Wake up. Get it done. And get on with your life.
Namasté,
John McElhenney – life coach austin texas
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More from The Whole Parent:
- When Things Go Right, I Mean Really Right: Dating a Single Dad
- What if the Love Is Bigger Than Your Pain? Healing w/in a Big Love
- This Feels Like Letting Go: A Moody February with Storms and Sunshine
- That Long-Term Relationship You Are Seeking… It’s With Yourself
- Giving Up the Ghost of Your Love
- Time, The Currency of Modern Relationships: Either You Have It To Give
Here are a few of my books on Amazon:
- Single Dad Seeks: Dating Again After Divorce: Advice and Strategies on Learning How to be Loved Again
- Fall of the House of Dad: My journey through divorce, from loss to joy, again and again
- A Good Dad’s Guide to Divorce: One father’s quest to stay connected with his children
- The Sex Index: Getting Our Love Languages Right in the Bedroom
- Here Comes the Darkness: Surviving and Thriving After a Mental Illness Diagnosis
- The Third Glass: When Drinking Becomes an Issue
- The Storm Before the Divorce: When One Parent Wants Out, That’s the End
- Dating 2.0: Aiming for the Love of Your Life
Now Available from Amazon
