We are programmed to admire the opposite sex. It’s part of our DNA. Maybe more for men than women, but “we all look.” I was wondering about this a few days ago as I was walking around the lake with my fiancé. Still, it’s so fun to look. What is it about voyeurism that’s so enticing? Or is it something more animal?
I like to people watch. Most of us do. But I don’t think of myself as a hound dog. I’m not cat calling or overtly staring. Am I sexually attracted to them? Am I looking to cheat on my girlfriend, if I have one? Or is it more of a fascination thing?
One similar situation I use to compare my experience of this phenomenon is fancy cars. When a Lamborghini drives by I do my best to get a good look at it. Something about the curves, the exotic nature, and the power of that car. And I could stand next to one and not grow tired of admiring the engineering.
Perhaps that’s a similar response when looking at a particularly attractive and athletic person. You want to observe the lines, the muscle, the curves. But it’s not like I want to sleep with them all. It’s just that I can appreciate God’s handiwork and the attractive power of the opposite sex. I don’t really want to drive a Lamborghini, but they sure are fun to look at.
I also noticed the other day is how we are programmed to equate youth as beauty as well. And with today’s media obsession we are even more trained than ever to admire younger and younger bodies. The zero body fat, zero age lines, race-ready bodies, that go flying by on the running trail almost have a glow about them. Again, it’s not sexual. At least sexual in the physical sense, the sexual pull is more of animal instinct.
As I’ve grown older and more aware of my own aging and changing shape, I have become more aware of how media-driven tastes have been focused on the youth. I am happy to observe, that in my world, I am no longer interested in youngsters. I have a teenage daughter of my own, so perhaps it’s a father-ish thing. I’m more interested in appreciating the burnished look of people around my own age, or even older.
How beautiful to see a gray-haired lady smiling and cruising along getting her 5-miles in. I’m less interested in athletes and more interested in people who are happy in their own skins, living their own lives with style and grace.
Maybe the fact that we’re all on a running/walking trail is a bit of a filter. Everyone out here is active and working on staying that way. That’s what I look for in a partner and that’s what I look for as I see these beautiful women passing by along the trail. Sure, the occasional gazelle is pretty to see leaping along, but I am no gazelle. I’m looking for people of my tribe. And part of that tribe is mid-life and going strong.
Today I’m not really people watching for attractive young women. I notice the allure and draw of their energy and physical form. No. More I am looking for the energy of life in all its active forms. The thing about a Lamborghini that makes it so fascinating is the rarity of seeing one and the knowledge that it goes fast.
Back to Positive Divorce & Co-Parenting
- The Joy of Divorce and the 3 Gifts of Breaking Up
- The Hero’s Journey of a Divorced Dad
- Focusing On the Other Person is a Trap
- The Spiritual Quest for Love
- The 3 Immutable Laws of Positive Co-Parenting
- The Transcendent Single Father
- The Positive Divorce is Up To You: The Two Levels of Healing
image: jogging woman in grass, creative commons usage