The moods roll in and out as if on tides. There is no controlling the bio-rhythm of our energy overall, it's really just how we respond to the varying levels of energy. And over the past several months a low-energy day was just passing through. Yesterday, the low-energy had the feeling of maybe sticking around for a bit. That got me a bit worried.
It's rare when we get the head and the heart to come into sync about another person. Sometimes it's one thing, a serious physical attraction for example, that sets us off, but the other person fails in one of our additional criteria. One thing I'm certain of, I cannot distinguish attraction from an online dating profile.
I'm as happy as I've ever been. I'm still digging into and talking about my anger resistance. But everything seems to be moving in the right direction in my life. I'm putting in the work on myself. I'm striving for success rather than just survival.
Losing my consuming relationship was critical to finding this loneliness and then finding the way to reach out to people who cared about me. Even if I didn't really understand how they cared about me, I could not deny his check-in on Facebook.
I was showing myself that I was emerging from one of the longest depressions I've been in as an adult. For me, creativity and brain health go hand in hand. So I'm happy to be back, still working, but on the upswing.
This morning I give thanks for the flexibility and caring my ex-wife shows me and my kids when they ask for some new connection. We've both worked hard to get here. And as we work better together everyone benefits.
I was lead to believe that the kids needed their mom more than me, that a mom's love is somehow superior, or more comforting than a dad's love.
It's all new territory for me and most of us out there dating again after divorce. And I'm okay with that. We're all just trying to figure it out. It's a process. Onward we go with good illumination and perhaps a glass of wine.