Becoming a single dad was one of the most traumatic events of my life. I did not want the divorce, I fought against the divorce, and ultimately I agreed to collaborative divorce and was taken to the cleaners by an ex who decided to go for the “divorce package” rather than honor our 50/50 shared parenting agreement.
How do you self-regulate when you are dating? When things start going REALLY WELL, how do you moderate yourself? If you're a super-sensual person, is it harder for you to say "no" to the intoxicating high of sex and the love hormones?
Get your butt on the trail to recovery and fitness at that same time. And then, if you don't, don't sweat that either. It's easy to be hard on yourself during the holidays. But your own peace of mind, and your own acceptance of yourself, just as you are, is the most important thing you can learn this season.
I had the desire and intention to go the distance with my ex-wife. When I entered the agreement, and we decided to have kids, the deal was sealed for me. And love was never an issue. Compatibility and control could often come up, but I *never* doubted my love for my wife.
Men get a lot of stereotypical flack for not knowing how to be vulnerable and talk about their feelings. And I'd have to say, in our culture, that being a man with feelings can be hard. I'm one of those sensitive guys, and in many situations I've had to learn to toughen up, be hard, unaffected by rage, bullshit, or attacks.
i may never understand the full loss for all of us i may never quit saying i'm sorry even to myself and the cat and dog
Even though it can be difficult at times, continuing my role as a supportive and cooperative partner is in the best interest of my kids. It's really in the best interest for me as well. A happy ex-wife is much better than an angry one.
What I can do as a dad is heal my own Little Man inside and give a place for my son's Little Man to get expressed and released. That will come later. But I know that I am doing everything to show up for MY little man as he grows into a young man and on.
My dad died when I was 21 years old. He was afraid to die. And he was angry at God and the world for allowing his death to happen. He was no longer angry at me. He was no longer capable of being a scary figure in my life. He was small, curled up, and very angry. But like today's man, he was no longer capable of hurting me with his anger.