And then I would get a second wind and sprint back to the front of the pack and send another mis-timed missive. Damn. I didn't learn very quickly that this was a running woman, but she wasn't ready to run with me into an "R" relationship.
It's a bit like looking for your tribe. I've been a joy-generator for a long time. And I am looking now for my Joy Tribe. The happy people. The women who glow with something intangible but palpable. I could feel it, but I didn't understand it at first. And then my whimsical exchange with the online dating woman reminded me. It's playfulness, it's banter, is something easy about the flow of information and a building connection.I
I am not willing to spend all of my free weeknights going for coffee with women that are marginally compatible. But back in the summer of escape velocity, I tried and tried and tried. It was exhausting.
New love is a drug, that might be more powerful than heroin. If we're addicted and activated we're at risk of slipping back into unhealthy patterns of addiction, intoxication, regret, withdrawal, and repeat.
I am always lying. I'm sorry. I don't mean to, but it's easier sometimes. And to confess even further, I am no longer married, so my wife is now my…
So we don't really have a word for what we "are." I don't like dating, so I'm not dating her. She doesn't like the idea of a long-term relationship so we're not doing that either. Do we need an easy handle on what we are forming between us? No. Is it more convenient if you are able to say, my boyfriend and my girlfriend? Maybe a tad better than my lover, or my life-mate. But please, we're splitting hairs. Do we like to be together? Yes. Are there things we like to do together besides fool around in bed? Yes. Then do that. Do all of that.
When you think about the person you might like to be spending your Saturday afternoon and Saturday night with, where do you imagine you might be on any given Saturday afternoon? And then it's your opportunity/responsibility to get yourself there. She/he might already be there.
I hope you meet a lot of nice people out there. But don't be fooled by their looks, their profile statements, or their fluent email banter. Go for the face-to-face meeting with as little hassle and energy as possible. If it becomes difficult to land the date, for whatever reason, move on. If they wanted to meet they would also be trying to make it happen, not giving excuses.