Becoming a single dad was one of the most traumatic events of my life. I did not want the divorce, I fought against the divorce, and ultimately I agreed to collaborative divorce and was taken to the cleaners by an ex who decided to go for the “divorce package” rather than honor our 50/50 shared parenting agreement.
I am a coach who is concerned 100% with your future goals and how to achieve them. I encourage my clients to have a therapist to deal with the historical hurts and traumas that are holding them back. I am here in a supportive and empowering role for you.
Yes, kids are expensive, but they should be equally shared as an expense and as a joy. This 70/30 split is bullshit. It's demeaning to fathers. And it's based on a parenting concept from the 50's. Sure it makes it easier on the courts if everyone just goes with the plan. But don't. If you want the time with your kids, fight for it.
Anger is a slippery fish for me. My dad's anger was so pervasive and dangerous that none of my family members ever got a handle on how to deal with anger. Here are some of my issues/fears about anger.
In the arena of relationship-building, I'm getting bloody, getting high, and getting killed. And I'm ready to get back up and give it another go.
Are you able to move towards your partner, your relationship, your co-creation of a shared vision? As long as the answer is "YES" from both of you the journey of discovery can continue.
If you're going to have kids, I think both parents should agree to co-parent after divorce in the same manner that they agreed to co-parent as partners even before they have children.
I'm not perfect. I don't have the answer to this question of how to be happy all the time. But I am learning to see my emotions, my feelings, as something that are a part of me, but are not all of me. That's my meta-view.
Yes, we're all suffering and struggling to maintain our sanity. And by embracing the positive in our lives, and sharing the energy of our own inner peace and love, we both enhance our happiness and encourage happiness in others.