As we become clearer in our boundaries, in what is good for us and what is not good for us, we can make choices more easily. When something doesn't feel good, we're able to say, "NO. This will not work for me."
So what are the alternatives to online dating? If I'm not going to browse and click my way into a new relationship, what's it going to take?
Write your profile honestly. State what you want. State what you're bringing to the party. Then edit, ask, talk, phone, and get to know them before you go for that intoxicating "first date." And, in my opinion, avoid meeting for alcoholic drinks.
The general mode of life with dad is positive and happy. I am *so* happy to have them on the days and nights I am afforded, that there is little room for complaints or nagging.
Sure, In online dating we all want to put our best foot forward, and make younger and prettier partners desire us, but if we're all doing that, if we're all being inauthentic... Well, that's part of the problem.
The silence and loneliness and grief brought me back to a deeper connection to my own soul. A deeper connection with myself. And that ever-elusive self-love.
But I am also a learning individual. I can adapt and make changes in my plans and trajectories. So while I was thinking I had lost orbit and was shooting away for some new destination. I may have been only slowing to the gravitational pull of this amazing lady, and learning what her fears and passions were as well.
It's going to get easier. You are going to be okay. Your kids are going to be okay. And, at some point in the future, you're going to look back on this event (the divorce) as one of the defining moments in your life. Act well. Learn to lean into the process of becoming a single parent.