You've gotta get out there to get over yourself. It's in the relating to a real woman in a real setting that things might become interesting.
It's rare when we get the head and the heart to come into sync about another person. Sometimes it's one thing, a serious physical attraction for example, that sets us off, but the other person fails in one of our additional criteria. One thing I'm certain of, I cannot distinguish attraction from an online dating profile.
Slow it all down. As I say in my profile, I'm not in a hurry to be in a relationship. I'm looking for friends.
If I am craving a women, for a relationship, for example, I am more likely to eat well, to keep my exercise routine constant. I am more likely to be working to make myself the best mate I could be.
There was something hopeful about imagining hundreds of women who were looking for a relationship. I wanted to dip my toe in the water and see what they looked like.
As sex leads the way to love, the pathways in your brain really begin to get hyperactive. You start thinking about long-range plans together. You start imagining yourself with this person, living together, getting married, having kids. Love is the drug that has launched a million relationships.
My non-depression (or normal) me is a bit more energetic and creative than most people. I get high, yes, but its natural energy (maybe some coffee) and it's what I consider the real me. The undepressed me. Still, you might think I was high if you met me.
The silence and loneliness and grief brought me back to a deeper connection to my own soul. A deeper connection with myself. And that ever-elusive self-love.