Self-care takes many forms. What we know, is most of us do not take enough time off. We drink coffee to fuel our days and interrupt our nights. Self-care is the process of unwinding ourselves from the rat race and giving our bodies and our souls time to recharge, play, and be quiet.
Divorce is not the end of the world. However, it's often the end of most dad's major bonding and influence with his kids. Most divorces end with dads being marginalized by the family court precedents.
I understand not being ready for a relationship. I understand taking your time getting to know someone. And I'm glad she did seek me out so we could have a few of these illuminating conversations in-person, but it's clear to me she was NOT a touch-oriented person, and as I asked about her love language twice, that was enough to trigger the "not developing" email.
If you were to design your own board game called The Game of My Best Life, what choices would you make early in your life?
1. Focus on yourself and your health/ 2. Give your kids 110% of your available attention / 3. Shutdown the angry communications with your ex
At this point in my life, 8 years divorced with two teenage kids, I have a lot of life ahead of me. As I see this woman standing beside me, I see a partner who can join with me in my dreams, who can challenge me in my beliefs and fallacies, and who is solid enough in her own life path that she shares joy and confidence in our potential lives together.
My goal, as a good dad, is to be available emotionally and physically to my kids all the time. They know where I stand. I've never bad-mouthed their mom. And as they continue to grow and mature into adults, I'm back to having an equal opportunity to be with them.
So, let's at least say, online dating is complicated. Even when we think we have our preferences and objectives clear in our mind, our animal drives can subvert our rational minds.
A woman's desire is different. Her needs are different as well. And if you can tune into what your woman needs, what warms her up, and what sets her on fire, you can apply the aphrodisiac of being present for her, and get more of your desires and fantasies met as well.