What you DO with your partner is often as important as what you say to them, or what you like about their looks. What do you want to DO with your lover? Let’s start there.
Don't let a single idea pass unnoticed. If you can capture the essence of the idea in some form, some shorthand version of your vision, then capture it. If you can stop everything else you are doing and allow the creative gift to come through you, do it. Stop. Listen. Create.
Don't speak if you're message is unimportant. And when you do speak, pay attention to the words and the way you are communicating. Then, stay in the feedback look with the object of your attention, and tune to their energy and attention.
It may have sparks, fits, and restarts, but it will have a fire, the BIG LOVE FIRE that burns away all the past issues and traumas that need to be released.
As we become clearer in our boundaries, in what is good for us and what is not good for us, we can make choices more easily. When something doesn't feel good, we're able to say, "NO. This will not work for me."
What ended up happening when I pushed on the broken parts of the relationship is she began to exit emotionally and avoid any opportunities to be alone, where we might have time to discuss what was going on. She took to falling asleep in the kid's beds rather than returning to me.
If we could balance out the misguided and harmful family court system in favor of a 50/50 cooperative parenting culture, we would have healthier kids. We would also see fewer wealthy bulldog divorce attorneys hawking their winning strategies. In a divorce, no one wins. But in divorce moms and dads should be considered equally.
My ex-wife is pressing me for money, not because she needs it, not because she thinks my son needs it, but because her brain is wired to think about money first, before all else.