Evolved Dating: Driven in the Non-linear World of Relationships
What is working and what is broken in the modern maelstrom of online dating apps and sites. We need an evolutionary approach to finding and building a relationship.
Relationships take a lot of work. Dating, online dating, and courtship all have one goal, to give us a Relationship to thrive in. It is hard to find a healthy, attractive, and willing partner. When you do, what happens next is the most important part. I work on relationship-building as a skill set. How can I be a better partner? How can I say with this person for life?
What is working and what is broken in the modern maelstrom of online dating apps and sites. We need an evolutionary approach to finding and building a relationship.
Over time, as adults, we develop coping mechanisms, strategies, action plans, for dealing with our own shit. Either we get pretty good at it, or we don't. When we're not very good at maintaining our own emotional boundaries, things begin to come out sideways.
The timing for me is perfect for dating and learning to love again. Really love. Go deep with trust, with conscious connection, and absolutely enjoying our time together.
The final part of finding the love of your life, is to let go of all other relationships. Do not compromise in your love life. Any little miss in your present moment will become a roadblock in the future.
What you DO with your partner is often as important as what you say to them, or what you like about their looks. What do you want to DO with your lover? Let’s start there.
I can ask to be loved. I may not feel loved even when love is abundant and specific. I might still miss some aspect of being loved. I might not feel loved, even in the presence of love. And, I can want someone else to meet my needs for love and connection, while not doing a very good job of being clear about what I need. Today, I didn't ask anyone. Today, I took care of my desire to go to the beach. September might not be summer, but it's beachy enough for me and my inner smile.
As we continue to go for a lifetime lover, we've got to be prepared to learn, study, grow, stretch, and reach back to our lovers for the REPAIR. Either partner can go for the repair. And both partners should work towards the repair, even if the bridge is collapsed in smoldering ruins.
The immediate plan is to continue growing, learning, and communicating with an ever-evolving sense of security and trust. Then, don't start talking about rings, living together, and retirement, until you've had a chance to go through at least one cycle of the seasons.