Today is the day. This is the moment. This post signals the last moment of denial. I am in charge of my own thinking, my own mood management, and my own path forward.
I'm just as dog-like and happy as I've ever been. I'm cultivating my Frodo-like personality traits. I'm also well aware of my somewhat unbalanced need to be loved by everyone.
Not everything needs to be worked out all the time. And, for the most part, I can trigger unhappy feelings for you, but the deep sadness or anger you feel, is probably not because of me.
By allowing you to experience and process your own distress, without my interference, I am giving you the utmost respect. I am viewing you as whole, strong, and capable. And in my affirmation of you and your inherent ability to be strong and sufficient, I am reaffirming my belief in you.
It's hard when you're on the receiving end of someone else's trigger. But we can get better at identifying our own triggers and triggered moments. And there are ways to help our partners notice when the rage or sadness that is coming out of them, might be a bit bigger or deeper than the infraction that caused the initial pain.
Crave them when they are not with you. Enjoy and savor them when they are with you. And feel the complete fullness of life when you have been satiated by them.
If you've got time ahead, and you're committed to the partnership, you have plenty of time to get the details right, if you stay on the path toward togetherness and building the "WE."
My process has continued to be one of mindful awareness, occasional medication, and a good care team of loving people around me.