Process the stuff that hurts. And, for me, stop eating to heal those hurts. Just get them out in other ways. Writing about them can help, indeed.
Sexual chemistry is something that happens immediately when you meet someone in the real world for the first time. Not all sexual chemistry is a wildfire of "let's get it on." But most of the sexual tension and sexual awareness comes from recognizing your own desire, your own needs, and how you imagine this person fitting in and even pushing the envelope a bit.
I don't think my ex-wife or my ex-girlfriend derived any positive benefits from attacking me. And perhaps, their momentary feeling of superiority and vindictiveness was worth the price. But both these women attacked me and took actions to hurt me and my future prospects.
The timing for me is perfect for dating and learning to love again. Really love. Go deep with trust, with conscious connection, and absolutely enjoying our time together.
The final part of finding the love of your life, is to let go of all other relationships. Do not compromise in your love life. Any little miss in your present moment will become a roadblock in the future.
What you DO with your partner is often as important as what you say to them, or what you like about their looks. What do you want to DO with your lover? Let’s start there.
As we continue to go for a lifetime lover, we've got to be prepared to learn, study, grow, stretch, and reach back to our lovers for the REPAIR. Either partner can go for the repair. And both partners should work towards the repair, even if the bridge is collapsed in smoldering ruins.
The immediate plan is to continue growing, learning, and communicating with an ever-evolving sense of security and trust. Then, don't start talking about rings, living together, and retirement, until you've had a chance to go through at least one cycle of the seasons.