It's going to get easier. You are going to be okay. Your kids are going to be okay. And, at some point in the future, you're going to look back on this event (the divorce) as one of the defining moments in your life. Act well. Learn to lean into the process of becoming a single parent.
As long as we are getting closer, and we are learning from our relationship mistakes, we can pick ourselves up after a breakup, knowing that we gave 100%. And, more importantly, we are closer and better equipped for the next potential partner that agrees to join us in "the arena."
I can forgive and still love each of these women in their various states of disrepair. I can walk away knowing I brought my best game into their lives. I can walk away with my heart still on my sleeve, because that's how I go through life. And I can refind my hopefulness.
As I was heading to visit a friend's house, who had offered to let me crash for a while, I found the red comfy chair set out by the road for bulk pickup.
Are you sexually fulfilled in your relationship? Can you make a request of your partner, to help get you closer, more excited about sex compromises are you willing to accept about sex as you move forward in the relationship?
But I'm curious, for a population in their 40s - 50s, with "families" already established if the sexual drive is more similar in men and women? Do we both enjoy the sexual thoughts that come from people watching? Aren't we essentially doing the same thing? Asking that tried and true question of our inexperienced, and pre-family youth, "Would ya do them?"
If either participant becomes too overwhelmed (anger, sadness, hopelessness) it's time to take a break.
Once the connection is established and reality-testing routines have been operating for a few weeks, it might be time to give in to the optimism that says YES to everything and anything.