Listening to the Sadness
I learned to do a killer swan dive that summer at the country club. In my feelings of sadness and dread of the coming hurricane of divorce, I began to detach from the happy rich kid.
Parenting is the biggest adventure you can set in motion. By becoming parents you are agreeing to give a priority to your children, over yourself. The sacrifice of becoming a parent is about making a better life for our kids.
As parents, our relationship may not work out. In divorce, we’ve got an opportunity to remain connected as a cooperative co-parent. Our role as divorced parents is to support our kids with less concern for ourselves or our disappointment in our ex-partner. It is important to leave your anger and frustration behind, and pay attention to your kids and their needs.
I learned to do a killer swan dive that summer at the country club. In my feelings of sadness and dread of the coming hurricane of divorce, I began to detach from the happy rich kid.
Here's what that looks like. About 2 - 3 times a year, they freeze my bank accounts. I call them. They ask how much money is in the accounts. (As if they don't know.) Then they take 50% of everything I have. And in the course of the next few days, my banks will unfreeze the rest of the money. Effectively, I am left with zero dollars.
I don't want a single parent to get lost in the shuffle of divorce. I want fathers and mothers to have equal access to their children, even in the case of divorce.
Always respect the other parent. Keep fathers in their kids' lives by giving them half a chance to maintain that relationship. The same chance you have.
I have always been in support of my son. I have taken on his mom and her husband about the issues concerning his health. And, as usual, I have been shut out by them as well.
And, please, don't aim barbs at your kids meant to hurt your former partner. It never works as expected. Arrows fired at your ex will always affect your children on the way to the target.
I lost everything in that moment. I lost my fighting spirit. I agreed to the Standard Possession Order (SPO) schedule and I agreed to let my wife be the custodial parent.
Divorce is not the end of the world. However, it's often the end of most dad's major bonding and influence with his kids. Most divorces end with dads being marginalized by the family court precedents.