Parenting is the biggest adventure you can set in motion. By becoming parents you are agreeing to give a priority to your children, over yourself. The sacrifice of becoming a parent is about making a better life for our kids.
As parents, our relationship may not work out. In divorce, we’ve got an opportunity to remain connected as a cooperative co-parent. Our role as divorced parents is to support our kids with less concern for ourselves or our disappointment in our ex-partner. It is important to leave your anger and frustration behind, and pay attention to your kids and their needs.
Today, I'd like you to consider that both parents are equally important in their kids' lives. And then I'd like you to promise to act accordingly for the rest of your lives as parents.
It is only through constant micro-corrections that we can stay engaged, in love, and connected in your primary intimate relationship. We don't ever get a day off from being compassionate and thoughtful. And when you are well-attached to your lover it becomes easier to make choices that move towards their heart rather than away from their heart.
I believe we cannot heal from our divorce/relationship trauma without getting back into the ring and giving it another go. Only IN RELATIONSHIP can we learn how to be healthy in a relationship.
We've got to learn other ways to celebrate our victories and process our hurts. And by showing up in our own lives in a big way, we demonstrate for our kids how to recover from difficult situations and thrive in spite of the setbacks.
I believe a father and a mother should agree to parent 50/50 forever. If things happen and that agreement changes in their future together, at least they started out with their hearts and vows in the right place.
By putting the kids first, we can value the contributions of both the mother and the father. And by joining in 50/50 co-parenting (before, during, and after divorce) we can give our kids the positive aspects of both parents.
How does she tell herself, daily, that she made the right decision for all of us, and not just for herself?
The Pre-Natal Agreement is a call-to-action. Dads are equal parents. It's time for dads to take full responsibility for our participation in raising our kids. From the day they are born, both parents must agree to sharing the joy as well as the hard work that goes into raising healthy and happy children.