Many men get tossed into the deadbeat dad category by their wives who are looking to score the package, regardless of the dad's parenting skills, their loving availability for their kids, and often discounting the dads even if they are the ones who hold down the emotional and logistical side of the household.
Then as our lives spun into the dark void of micro-alienation and bitterness, and as my ex-wife continued to spit vile at me, I began this journey to become positive about all that I was going through.
The pitch: "Ferris Bueller gets a divorce."
We can hold on, we can fight/struggle/counsel to make things work. We can sacrifice so many aspects of our lives to try and keep the marriage together. And in this sublimation, we can become separated from our own inner truth, our own listening and responding heart, as we try and compromise and grow and hope for the eventual LOVE we believe will heal us.
After 11-years, my child support has been paid and my two children have launched from their mom's house. I am rebuilding for time lost with some success. What I lost I can never regain. What I can hope for is that my future years are going to be the best part of my relationship with my two kids.
Write your profile honestly. State what you want. State what you're bringing to the party. Then edit, ask, talk, phone, and get to know them before you go for that intoxicating "first date." And, in my opinion, avoid meeting for alcoholic drinks.
I am sorry you’re going through a tough time. Divorce and breakups suck. I am here to give you hope and help you put your plan together for a better life.
But, when the parter continues to shut down or respond in unhealthy and indifferent ways and refuses to own their side of the problem, it might be time for some serious reconsideration.