Positive Divorce: From Blame To Forgiveness

Positive divorce is a choice. And the process to get there requires time, insight, and often the help of professionals. But the alternative is bitterness and continued failings at love relationships as you make the same mistakes, miss the same red flags, and put up with the same behaviors that got you into the divorce in the first place.

Continue ReadingPositive Divorce: From Blame To Forgiveness

Timing, Money, and Parenting Within the Standard Possession Order

If I had it to do all over again, I'd probably argue with the counselor and my ex-wife and negotiate something a bit more even. You will be advised not to do this. "It's easier for everyone if you just accept this plan, it's been working for families for years."

Continue ReadingTiming, Money, and Parenting Within the Standard Possession Order

Durable Love: Forgiving Your Ex and Refinding Love

I had the desire and intention to go the distance with my ex-wife. When I entered the agreement, and we decided to have kids, the deal was sealed for me. And love was never an issue. Compatibility and control could often come up, but I *never* doubted my love for my wife.

Continue ReadingDurable Love: Forgiving Your Ex and Refinding Love

Finding Balance In the Inequitable Life After Divorce

Even though it can be difficult at times, continuing my role as a supportive and cooperative partner is in the best interest of my kids. It's really in the best interest for me as well. A happy ex-wife is much better than an angry one.

Continue ReadingFinding Balance In the Inequitable Life After Divorce

All Available Light: Positive Parenting Energy Is Never Lost

Live your life as you would like to see your kids living theirs. Show them the adults they can be, by demonstrating the best that you can be. Anything less is a miss. Parenting and co-parenting resources come and go, theories of parenting and how do recover from divorce will change from season to season, but this truth never changes.

Continue ReadingAll Available Light: Positive Parenting Energy Is Never Lost

Finding the Happy Side of Difficult Divorce Street – FLIP IT

There is no time like the present to flip your anger into absurd, cackling, fake laughter. It's a known fact that your physical body doesn't really know the difference between real laughter and fake laughter. So if you give a big ol' Pee Wee Herman laugh, your body really thinks you are laughing. The endorphins and physical joy comes back into your system, fires up the happy side of your brain, and can bring you part of the way back to center.

Continue ReadingFinding the Happy Side of Difficult Divorce Street – FLIP IT

Co-parenting Is Not Always Easy, But We Have a Choice

So much of co-parenting is about negotiation and compromise. We no longer have the same loving emotional ties to our former partners. We no longer have to make their urgency and priorities our own.

Continue ReadingCo-parenting Is Not Always Easy, But We Have a Choice

A Return to Wholeness After Divorce

In divorce, when you lose everything, what you still have is your kids. And while you are deep into the recovery of your own feelings, paying attention and parenting from a place of wholeness is critical.

Continue ReadingA Return to Wholeness After Divorce