I did not cause my ex-wife's anger and depression. And I'm not causing it now. And the money is not going to fix it. You can't rub money on a lifetime of depression. Sure, the new car will be nice. And, sure, she and her husband won't have to balance the checkbook as carefully.
I believe that living with anger, creates an angry life. Showing the angry life to your kids is not the lesson you'd prefer to give them. Discharge your anger however you need to do it, but quit firing poison darts at your co-parent. You are liable to hit one of your kids instead.
Parenting is a journey best shared by both partners. I am strong enough to engage with love and caring and the knowledge, that somehow she believed leaving me out of the loop was the best option for my son.
Finally, if you're going to agree to a cooperative divorce, make sure you add in a clause about NEVER INVOLVING THE ATTORNEY GENERAL'S OFFICE. EVER.
You have all the time you need. There is no hurry. Relax. Enjoy each other. Savor each step of the process. Don't skip the anticipatory foreplay along the path. And let yourself fall in love with your eyes wide open.
Today I focus on my happy and well-adjusted kids. She's 50% of that parenting team. And while she still holds the loaded gun to my head financially, she's kept her mom-hat and mom-responsibility in the proper ratio.
As my kids grow older more of the divorce and reasons for the divorce will become clear to them. Life is long. Parenting is forever. Love will win out over anger.
It's hard to understand where the anger comes from, so I don't try. Let's just say she's still mad at me, six years after the divorce. Hmm. Am I still…