Somewhere deeper in that story, the one we never talked about, there was an assumption and agreement that their mom deserved and wanted more time with them. Inherent in the imbalanced divorce is the idea that the non-custodial (30%) parent wants less time with the kids.
We are both stating that in the case of a no-fault divorce, we are waiving our rights to fight about co-parenting and custody schedules, and we are agreeing, ahead of time, to co-parent at 50/50. As parents, we both believe our kids deserve equal parenting time between moms and dads.
I am a safe confidant who can help you sort out the difficulties you are facing. Let's face them together. Let's put a plan together. Let's talk about it.
The divorce statistics in America are staggering. Almost half of all marriages end in divorce. Here are some numbers to consider.
In some twisted way, my ex-wife assumed that she was the better parent and thus more entitled to the child support, the house, and the kids' care and feeding. As a good dad, this was just her assumption. Today, her assumption wound probably be supported by state family law. But, I believe times are changing.
Please consider this fact: dads and moms are equally important in a child's life. Yes, there are exceptions. And these days those exceptions cut both ways. So when you are considering divorce and thinking of "going for it" because having more time with your kids would feel good to you, please consider the kids over and above your own needs. Our kids need both of us.
How do you reconcile being removed from the typical family Christmas? How do you deal with the 22 days a month that you have little or no contact with your children? How do you afford ANY Christmas presents when you're struggling to buy gas?
If your kids are old enough, talk to them about how they would like to do Christmas within the schedule you and the other parent have determined. Over time, it does get better. But while things are fresh and hard, make sure you take care of yourself first.