Over time, as adults, we develop coping mechanisms, strategies, action plans, for dealing with our own shit. Either we get pretty good at it, or we don't. When we're not very good at maintaining our own emotional boundaries, things begin to come out sideways.
I have moved into the bedroom too quickly the last two times out. Both relationships taught me huge valuable lessons. And both relationships fulfilled some emptiness I was carrying around when we got together.
By allowing you to experience and process your own distress, without my interference, I am giving you the utmost respect. I am viewing you as whole, strong, and capable. And in my affirmation of you and your inherent ability to be strong and sufficient, I am reaffirming my belief in you.
Love deeply. Live deeply. And when you lose someone, go on loving as deeply as you can. In the case of my brother, I will go on loving him as he becomes a spirit.
So with that, even for a week, I am — in theory — off the market, off eHarmony, off the matching of match.com. Because all that “dating” crap is really distracting when what you really want is a friend, not a date.
Always treat your co-parent with respect and compassion. A metaphor for co-parenting might be, "Treat them as well as you do a convenience store clerk." You want to get in and get out with as little hassle as possible.
Be good to yourself. Expect the best. Settle for nothing less than 100%. Sure, there is some flexibility with the nice-to-haves, but zero flex with the must-haves and red flags.
I'm a single dad who wants as close a relationship as I can have with my two kids. They've got their own agendas, their own friends, and their own problems. I'm simply here to offer my companionship and support.