Maybe this is what women feel all the time. The men are sizing them up as they might size up a meal. I'm hungry, but I'm interested in a woman who stays YES first. THEN I will show her my Tiger.
If you want joyful sex, you explore and ask for a joyful partner. And when the chemistry is ON you can imagine seeking ever deeper levels of connection with this partner.
I wrote goodbye letters to my former fiancé. I dug into my feelings and sat there, not really sure what actions to take. So I stayed still. I sat with the feelings. I prayed and meditated. I ate three meals a day and walked in the brutal Texas heat. And I kept going.
Today, I have everything I need. I may not be close to having everything I want. But my basics (food, shelter, safety, community) are pretty well covered. Today I can forgive my ex and focus on my kids and their well-being.
Upstairs another door flew open and dapper son Badly Buzy Ben announced, "Breakfast? What's for breakfast?" as he stomped down the stairs. His hair was perfectly done and his suit looked freshly pressed. The blue tie matching and shining in concert with his pocket square.
And I'm driving back from the spiritual event last night, the moonroof is open, the music is pumping and she takes off her panties in the passenger seat of the beamer. It is a perfect moment.
My ex-wife screwed me in the divorce and she and the therapist that setup our 70/30 parenting plan knew it. They were not basing their plans on science, but on "what's best for the kids" mythology that has been perpetuated since my parents got a divorce 49 years ago.
Back to the bare walls and rebuilding from nothing. Back to the feelings of being booted from my former "happy life" as a dad and husband, and into some unknown, stripped bare, emotional roller coaster of the last 8 years of my life.