Finding joy in your life is a big part of the plan.

I believe we have set points, but not of happiness, of joy. I know that even in moments of extreme grief I can feel joy. Joy is a pursuit. Joy is either a focus of your attention or not. It’s kind of like being positive, but it’s different.

Joy is different than happiness. Joy is part of our internal compass. You’ve got to find your own inner joy. It’s a big shift, this focus on inner joy and not outer happiness. I cannot control many of the aspects of my life. I am not always happy. But, I am learning to be always joyful.

Uppers and Downers: Micro-dose Happiness

Often when I listened to what my body was telling me, over the last three weeks, I was able to identify what my mood or physical state in need of alteration or boost was. Mostly for me, it's exhaustion. Take a nap. And loneliness. Reach out to someone you love. I am blessed to be in a period of confidence and sustained happiness. So, the cravings have been fairly benign and less urgent.

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The Struggles and Fears About Divorce: Humans of Divorce

When I get in a tough place I try and picture my kid's faces. In the moment I am feeling upset, I can send them a "How's it going, I love you" text. I can SnapChat a silly face.

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As Parents: We Do the Walk of Life

That same hope and energy is present in my life, at the moment. I have an abundance of joy to share. Walking through the crowd of people on a beautiful day I could hold each of them in my hopeful prayer.

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Announcing the Little Book of The Third Glass

Drink if you want to. Make sure you are aware of your motivations when you begin to fix the third cocktail. In my experience, that Third Glass came to represent a turning away from me and away from intimacy. I would choose to drink with her from time to time, but I could not follow her into the nightly oblivion. I wanted a close relationship.

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Next-Level Parenting: Being Awesome Even in Divorce

I wish I could've had more time with my kids. I wish my then-wife had agreed to 50/50 shared parenting. I wish my ex-wife would be a more collaborative parent. But even as I wish about these things, even as I can feel regret about the lost time, I am HAPPIER NOW THAN I HAVE EVER BEEN IN MY LIFE.

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Asking for Support is Hard for Most of Us: That’s Okay, Do It Anyway

My role is to help you identify what's stressing you out, work on lessening that stress, and begin to focus on what's good for you. And as important, what's good for your kids. And here is a simple list of things we're going to work on together.

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The Four Simple Rules for Parents Getting Divorced

Also, as the man in the divorce, you have an opportunity to lead the process with grace and empathy. You cannot control how your ex behaves, the only thing you can control is your own response to the challenges ahead.

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