Divorce is a cruel storm. If we could see our ex-partners as humans rather than combatants, we could begin to heal the pain. We’re in this together, no matter how it turns out. Humans of Divorce are people who are doing their best in spite of the negative actions of their co-parent.
Today, I have everything I need. I may not be close to having everything I want. But my basics (food, shelter, safety, community) are pretty well covered. Today I can forgive my ex and focus on my kids and their well-being.
I didn't need a horrible family life to get my act together. That's what happened in my childhood, and this is who I am as a result, but it might have been different. Let me take a run at having a relationship that starts out with a healthy bias rather than one of recovery and repressed emotions.
Co-parenting is a cooperative relationship. When one of the partners decides to be uncooperative it changes the dynamics. However, as a positive parent, you can be the bigger partner. Choosing the positive is about every aspect of your life, and your kids are the most important relationship you can manage.
Today I focus on my happy and well-adjusted kids. She's 50% of that parenting team. And while she still holds the loaded gun to my head financially, she's kept her mom-hat and mom-responsibility in the proper ratio.
I have suffered from depressions since I was 15 when I had my first collapse at a prep school (Phillips Exeter Academy) in New Hampshire. I didn’t know what was happening to me.
I know myself "in a relationship" as a man who is satisfied and settled. I am no longer driven by the energetic part of the sex-brain that is hunting for attractive and available women. When I have a relationship to lean into I can settle down into my life's work that is about more important things.
My passion for coaching is to guiding single parents through the hardships of divorce, depression, recovery, addiction, and ultimately renewed belief in a future relationship. I can be your coach/wingman/confidant/cheerleader as you grow towards what you want in your life.
At the moment I am in a perfect relationship. I wake up , go to sleep, nap, walk, play tennis, write... all that, I do all those things without considering another soul. I am in love with myself.