Divorce is a cruel storm. If we could see our ex-partners as humans rather than combatants, we could begin to heal the pain. We’re in this together, no matter how it turns out. Humans of Divorce are people who are doing their best in spite of the negative actions of their co-parent.
Then as our lives spun into the dark void of micro-alienation and bitterness, and as my ex-wife continued to spit vile at me, I began this journey to become positive about all that I was going through.
Truth is a spiritual process. Not settling for half-truths is an acid test. And perhaps this "edge" will give me some insight and relief from burnout and anxiety.
The pitch: "Ferris Bueller gets a divorce."
We can hold on, we can fight/struggle/counsel to make things work. We can sacrifice so many aspects of our lives to try and keep the marriage together. And in this sublimation, we can become separated from our own inner truth, our own listening and responding heart, as we try and compromise and grow and hope for the eventual LOVE we believe will heal us.
There is absolutely no hurry. You have all the time you need. Spend time together. Spend time apart. Listen. Learn. And move forward.
Home is inside me. Home with someone else is a horizon I knew I was losing in my divorce. After eleven years of seeking, perhaps I'm getting ready to rebuild a home with someone else.
I'm going to play the online dating game for a limited amount of time. I know it's a distraction. Browsing profiles online is NOT DATING. Get out there. Get into your best life and look for others around you doing the same thing. If a conversation comes up with a person of interest on Bumble or Match.com, great, but I'm not counting on the dating apps and sites to do anything for my love life. Let's get out and do what we love. I'll meet you there.
By resetting our expectations about sex just a little (when we both have the energy) we can count on a more engaged and spontaneous partner. You can't be present when you're drowsy.