Divorce is a cruel storm. If we could see our ex-partners as humans rather than combatants, we could begin to heal the pain. We’re in this together, no matter how it turns out. Humans of Divorce are people who are doing their best in spite of the negative actions of their co-parent.
As our kids grow up, our past transgressions and lies will come back to haunt us. I don't think I've lied to them, other than the agreed upon lie (giving my wife the all-important cover) that the divorce was a mutual decision. It was not.
One of my kids is thrilled to stay in touch with me. We FaceTime most days. I offer them support and advice. My other kid only reaches out, or even responds to my texts, when they want money.
My process has continued to be one of mindful awareness, occasional medication, and a good care team of loving people around me.
When you're exploring a new love relationship make sure you understand your own patterns of attachment. Learn from your mistakes. Let go of your misses.
What I've got is my state of happiness and peace. I no longer fight with her about anything. I no longer ask her for anything. I keep my communications primarily with my kids. As far as I'm concerned, she's no longer the superpower she was.
I'm not here to lecture DM on their bias or their angry thrust. I do hope that my comments stir some feathers at the top, and perhaps they address the absence of the good dad from their entire platform.
In today's divorce world, dads are still seen as breadwinners and second-class parents. And there are plenty of scripts that show this to be true.
Make things a little bit easier, by being kind and considerate to the other parent in your kids' lives. Love your kids enough to leave your ex in peace.