In my marriage, perhaps we hid too much of the anger. My kids don't have many healthy examples of anger negotiation. And thus, even as young middle-schoolers, their response to anger is often to shut down completely, and even cry, depending on the severity of the anger.
Health and fitness begin in your mind. Can you eat better? Can you exercise 3 – 5 times a week? Can you give your own body the love you’d like to shower on a partner? Health is your number one commodity as you get older. Stay healthy by taking little steps towards a better, stronger, you.
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Fitness and health are the currency of growing old. Let’s do it with intention. Don’t hope to catch up later, get on a health kick, eat better, sleep better, love better. Your fitness and health are the most important things in your life. (Maybe after mental health, in my case.)
When you think about the person you might like to be spending your Saturday afternoon and Saturday night with, where do you imagine you might be on any given Saturday afternoon? And then it's your opportunity/responsibility to get yourself there. She/he might already be there.
The two of us have been through a lot already. We've jumped through some burning hoops to see the next layer of protection being stripped away. We are pretty close to the pure joy of finding time together and knowing that we will enjoy the company of this other person until something else comes along.
So what do you do with a relationship between men and women when the request for sex is constant and unrelenting? Well, of course, the man needs to figure out a way to pleasure himself, or he's going to be frustrated a lot of the time. And it's really not the woman's responsibility, even in a marriage, to pleasure us.
Positive divorce is a choice. And the process to get there requires time, insight, and often the help of professionals. But the alternative is bitterness and continued failings at love relationships as you make the same mistakes, miss the same red flags, and put up with the same behaviors that got you into the divorce in the first place.
My self-acceptance is not quite what I would call self-love, but I really appreciate the term self-care. And by caring for myself I am showing love for parts of myself I have always tried to hide.
How do you self-regulate when you are dating? When things start going REALLY WELL, how do you moderate yourself? If you're a super-sensual person, is it harder for you to say "no" to the intoxicating high of sex and the love hormones?
There is no bridge that's going to make our relationship work again, so my longing necessarily stayed in my own heart. There is no sense in sharing our desires and hopes when the other person is not available. It only makes it hurt worse.