Divorce, once mentioned, is a slippery and difficult journey. As you pull apart the lives you’ve built together, there will be anger, resentment, frustration, and even joy, and ecstasy. But the divorce is hard on everyone. Listen for who needs support and then give your love and attention. Always.
POSITIVE DIVORCE (is a concept, an alignment, an intention I use as I go through life as a single dad.)
Divorce is one of the most disorienting events in my life. Everything was lost. I have made a point of trying to turn the bad points into positive information. I am here support you as best I can to lessen the impact on your children. Divorce is the beginning of a new journey. You can make it better for everyone by paying attention to what matters. Your anger at your ex needs to be handled on your own.
It is my belief, that if you don't build and nurture a strong WE container with your partner, you're going to find asparagus popping up in between you more frequently. Put the WE first in consideration and you are on your way towards building a healthier and happier partnership.
I quickly and clearly expressed my change of plans and released them back into the stream of possibilities. Get clear on your dating goals. And if you need someone to talk to about all of this crazy mess, I'm here.
But if you're ignoring numero uno, by not taking care of your needs, your health, your sleep, your boundaries, the crash will come for you. You cannot drink enough coffee or take enough anti-depressants to correct a lack of self-care.
Dating a single parent can be a lot like struggling with a toddler. They punch you in the eye, spill juice in your bed, and say, "I love you SOOO much."
We put time into the relationship, we want results. We invest our heart and soul in a person, we hope they will return the gift. But people are funny.
I am the one. She was not the one. There will be another one. Until I am again, the only one. Alone I stand, again. An adventurer of the heart and soul. "Let's Go!"
Your lover, your kids, your family, even your colleagues will notice the change as you get more of your own needs met: for alone time, for rest, for exercise, for walks alone, for recharging you. Then you can bring that love, energy, and joy back to your relationship and all the relationships in your life.
What ended up happening when I pushed on the broken parts of the relationship is she began to exit emotionally and avoid any opportunities to be alone, where we might have time to discuss what was going on. She took to falling asleep in the kid's beds rather than returning to me.