I've found it very helpful to remain in the present moment when dating someone new. Try NOT to jump into the future scenarios, the "what ifs" and "what abouts." And when you are thinking that you both want the same thing, do some reality testing.
Okay, so it's coming up on 9 years since my divorce. And I'd love to tell you that I'm madly in love and in partnership with the next long-term relationship…
The complications in a teenaged boy's life are many. Dad's love should not be another complication. I am here for him. And I can chill out a bit on my outreach. He knows I'm here. I have always been here.
If mental illness was more like typical illness we'd have a lot more sympathy for the suffering. If it's a disease, then we need to stop pushing and grinding ourselves…
If I am happy alone, creating and aspiring with all the time available to me. Perhaps, I need to look for another creative person, who has similar creative impulses.
And with children, the divorce is never final, your relationship to the other parent goes on as long as your kids are alive. You never get over your divorce, but you can get through it.
I certainly don't want to hurt them or their relationship with their mom. But that's what was used to silence me in the first place about the truth of the divorce. There is one truth. Mom planed for, asked for, and executed the divorce against my will.
We've been divorced for over eight years. Our son has just turned 18 and is heading to college next year. We're not really co-parenting, but our kids are doing just fine. And as they grow older, they are seeking a renewed relationship with me.