As divorced parents with kids we all need to work together to support the system. I am not part of his family system, but he is part of my family system. I suppose in his mind they do not overlap. He is incorrect. He is also an ass.
If our intention as single parents is to find a long-term relationship, taking down and deleting the online dating apps is the first step towards a victory dance. So, when you are both delighted to find the time to be together, and you are both expressing desire to find more time, you are well on your way towards establishing the trust that anchors an authentic relationship.
Some questions about touch, sex, and my emotional intelligence: Do I need a woman? Would I be okay alone? Why is it so hard on my core personality to be alone? Am I addicted to love, or physical touch?
If she drinks the third glass I begin looking for what I'm going to do that evening when she's fallen asleep. If she asks for water, my mind enters into a different set of fantasies that involve her participation. The real joy is that we've had this discussion.
I've found it very helpful to remain in the present moment when dating someone new. Try NOT to jump into the future scenarios, the "what ifs" and "what abouts." And when you are thinking that you both want the same thing, do some reality testing.
Sure, In online dating we all want to put our best foot forward, and make younger and prettier partners desire us, but if we're all doing that, if we're all being inauthentic... Well, that's part of the problem.
Equal parenting is how we started this whole "kids" thing. Don't you think equal parenting is how we should finish it?
When we started down the road of negotiating a cooperative divorce (because it's all about the children) our divorce and parenting plan counselor also suggested 70-30.