My Eleven Years as a Deadbeat Dad: Defining the Term Deadbeat Mom
The narcissist must keep the secret until they die. To apologize would be to admit she was wrong. My ex-wife is a deadbeat mom.
Co-parenting is the process of becoming a partner with the other parent of your children. It begins the minute you discuss having children. The co-parenting agreement should span a lifetime, including what happens in the case of divorce. Start at 50/50 shared parenting? Agree to 50/50 shared parenting in divorce. Become great co-parents. Equals. Allies. Focused on your children and how you can support each other in the difficult journey ahead.
Even if your ex decides not to co-parent collaboratively with you, they are co-parenting, but in a negative way. You want what’s best for your children. You want a good co-parenting relationship. You want your kids to love you both. Weaponizing co-parenting is a toxic move. Stay positive. If you can’t co-parent nicely, then co-parent without negative inputs.
It only takes ONE PARENT to hold a positive post-divorce relationship. The enlightened parent can lessen the conflict at every stage of co-parenting. When I learned that positive only was the track I was on with my ex-wife, my co-parenting success was no longer tied to her poor behavior.
The narcissist must keep the secret until they die. To apologize would be to admit she was wrong. My ex-wife is a deadbeat mom.
There are plenty of times when it's difficult not being with my kids. But what I can give them is 110% dad when they are with me. I have the rest of the time, when they are not with me, to heal and focus on myself and my goals.
How is it possible that you don't care for or support your co-parent? How can that much anger be misdirected at the former love of your life?
Every single blow against me is felt by our children.
My motto for dealing with my ex-wife and her anger: Focus on your children. Love your children.
Give your partner the ravishing they are longing for and you might get your connection needs met at the same time. A win-win.
Let's do this TOGETHER. It's much easier if we're on the side of our kids and not against one another.
Now that they are mostly out of their mom's house they have a bit more autonomy of thought. And when she throws a shitty bomb in between us, we can usually identify the *bs* and choose to not bite.