I did not cause my ex-wife's anger and depression. And I'm not causing it now. And the money is not going to fix it. You can't rub money on a lifetime of depression. Sure, the new car will be nice. And, sure, she and her husband won't have to balance the checkbook as carefully.
Anger is a healthy emotion.
When you feel anger, what you do with the excess energy is all-important. Harness your anger to move towards your goals and dreams. Anger at ex-partners, anger at the state of the world, anger at a shitty manager, each is like little charging station to increase your blood pressure. Use that pressure to move your plans forward. Don’t look back in regret. Leave those people in the dust. Anger informs your soul. Listen to what hurts. And then, learn to move forward out of what is making you angry towards things that make you happy.
- The 5 Laws of Anger in Divorce and Co-Parenting
- Rationalizing Your Divorce: Anger is Anger is Anger is…
- What’s Underneath the Pain? My Anger Resistance Is Illuminating
- Understanding Anger: From My Dad >> Me >> My Ex-Wife >> My Kids
- The New Dance of Anger: Men and Our Legacy (part 2)
- Men and Our Anger Issues: The New Dance of Anger (part 1)
- Lean Into Anger: Healing My Father’s Fury
Suppressed anger leads to health issues, depression, rage, and addiction. By building a healthy response to your anger, you can begin to move your life towards happiness and contentment. Your anger towards someone else is YOUR issue. Let it go. Move onward and upward.
Toxic anger is like drinking poison and hoping it kills the other person. It’s only going to make you sick. Unresolved anger is not good for you or any of the people around you. Let go of your anger. Use anger for good.
Whatever the motivation or past, we are now a family in divorce. We have commitments and connections that will never cease between all of us. And in my attempts to heal myself I hope to continue to be a positive influence on my kids and ex's lives. We're in this together. Let's evolve to a higher discussion.
I believe that living with anger, creates an angry life. Showing the angry life to your kids is not the lesson you'd prefer to give them. Discharge your anger however you need to do it, but quit firing poison darts at your co-parent. You are liable to hit one of your kids instead.
Parenting is a journey best shared by both partners. I am strong enough to engage with love and caring and the knowledge, that somehow she believed leaving me out of the loop was the best option for my son.
Co-parenting is a cooperative relationship. When one of the partners decides to be uncooperative it changes the dynamics. However, as a positive parent, you can be the bigger partner. Choosing the positive is about every aspect of your life, and your kids are the most important relationship you can manage.
Today I focus on my happy and well-adjusted kids. She's 50% of that parenting team. And while she still holds the loaded gun to my head financially, she's kept her mom-hat and mom-responsibility in the proper ratio.
As my kids grow older more of the divorce and reasons for the divorce will become clear to them. Life is long. Parenting is forever. Love will win out over anger.
My passion for coaching is to guiding single parents through the hardships of divorce, depression, recovery, addiction, and ultimately renewed belief in a future relationship. I can be your coach/wingman/confidant/cheerleader as you grow towards what you want in your life.