Anger is a healthy emotion.
When you feel anger, what you do with the excess energy is all-important. Harness your anger to move towards your goals and dreams. Anger at ex-partners, anger at the state of the world, anger at a shitty manager, each is like little charging station to increase your blood pressure. Use that pressure to move your plans forward. Don’t look back in regret. Leave those people in the dust. Anger informs your soul. Listen to what hurts. And then, learn to move forward out of what is making you angry towards things that make you happy.
Suppressed anger leads to health issues, depression, rage, and addiction. By building a healthy response to your anger, you can begin to move your life towards happiness and contentment. Your anger towards someone else is YOUR issue. Let it go. Move onward and upward.
Toxic anger is like drinking poison and hoping it kills the other person. It’s only going to make you sick. Unresolved anger is not good for you or any of the people around you. Let go of your anger. Use anger for good.
I believe we cannot heal from our divorce/relationship trauma without getting back into the ring and giving it another go. Only IN RELATIONSHIP can we learn how to be healthy in a relationship.
We've got to learn other ways to celebrate our victories and process our hurts. And by showing up in our own lives in a big way, we demonstrate for our kids how to recover from difficult situations and thrive in spite of the setbacks.
I believe a father and a mother should agree to parent 50/50 forever. If things happen and that agreement changes in their future together, at least they started out with their hearts and vows in the right place.
How does she tell herself, daily, that she made the right decision for all of us, and not just for herself?
The Pre-Natal Agreement is a call-to-action. Dads are equal parents. It's time for dads to take full responsibility for our participation in raising our kids. From the day they are born, both parents must agree to sharing the joy as well as the hard work that goes into raising healthy and happy children.
Somewhere deeper in that story, the one we never talked about, there was an assumption and agreement that their mom deserved and wanted more time with them. Inherent in the imbalanced divorce is the idea that the non-custodial (30%) parent wants less time with the kids.
My job, as your partner, is to let you off the hook when I can, to hold you accountable when I can't, and to make distinctions about the difference.
I am a safe confidant who can help you sort out the difficulties you are facing. Let's face them together. Let's put a plan together. Let's talk about it.