Even if our partners ask us to send lawyers, guns, and money, we need to stay on our own path and offer them an empathetic ear and a solid base of loving AND SILENT support.
Anger is a healthy emotion.
When you feel anger, what you do with the excess energy is all-important. Harness your anger to move towards your goals and dreams. Anger at ex-partners, anger at the state of the world, anger at a shitty manager, each is like little charging station to increase your blood pressure. Use that pressure to move your plans forward. Don’t look back in regret. Leave those people in the dust. Anger informs your soul. Listen to what hurts. And then, learn to move forward out of what is making you angry towards things that make you happy.
- The 5 Laws of Anger in Divorce and Co-Parenting
- Rationalizing Your Divorce: Anger is Anger is Anger is…
- What’s Underneath the Pain? My Anger Resistance Is Illuminating
- Understanding Anger: From My Dad >> Me >> My Ex-Wife >> My Kids
- The New Dance of Anger: Men and Our Legacy (part 2)
- Men and Our Anger Issues: The New Dance of Anger (part 1)
- Lean Into Anger: Healing My Father’s Fury
Suppressed anger leads to health issues, depression, rage, and addiction. By building a healthy response to your anger, you can begin to move your life towards happiness and contentment. Your anger towards someone else is YOUR issue. Let it go. Move onward and upward.
Toxic anger is like drinking poison and hoping it kills the other person. It’s only going to make you sick. Unresolved anger is not good for you or any of the people around you. Let go of your anger. Use anger for good.
What do you need to cut the tether attaching you to this bag of these BULLSHIT-LIES you keep telling yourself? Write them down. Identify the "little black bastards" pulling you down.
Sure, you can lean into your kids' anger about the divorce. But your role as a parent is to help them separate their emotions from your emotions. Your anger has infused their entire lives.
Everything that happened from the moment my then-wife said she’d been to see a lawyer, has delivered me up to be healed in a way that would not have been possible had we stayed together.
I work with men and women who are looking to reset their priorities in life to align more with their long-term goals. What's keeping you from achieving your dreams? What parts of your life need attention?
Here's what I know. My ex-wife has nothing to do with my happiness or success. My positive approach to life is how I show up for my kids. They are watching us. They are learning from our actions. How we deal with hard times will inform and set their own internal compass for later in life as they run into challenges.
I simply let go and pay little or no attention to the things that are out of my control. What I have control over, I manage with greater joy and energy.
You can start on your own. Write about your early childhood traumas. What are the things that hurt you? What things happened with no adult around to give you safety and comfort? Today, your writing and speaking can re-experience this event with a new more holistic experience.