Blow Blow Blow the Man Down: Killing Bumble

Blow Blow Blow the Man Down: Killing Bumble

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I was convinced that Bumble still offered some value in this sh*tshow of a time in dating and relationship-building. I was wrong. The other sites were even worse, but I continued to give Bumble a chance to help with my outlook and optimism. Well, nope.

Here’s What I Know About Bumble

10% of all online dating accounts are fake. (Plexit) And a lot of those accounts are simply trying to get you to upgrade to the paying account types. Bumble has two tiers of premium accounts. Let’s look at the features of both options.

Yeah, there’s Premium and Premium+. They both add additional features. Being able to REMOTE to a different city is cool. My experience in New York was full of amazing profiles. And not one actual coffee date. Perhaps the Universe is giving me the time out I say I need.

You get to see “trending” profiles. Women who are getting a lot of right swipes.

Problem is, they don’t have a trending pile when there are no more profiles to share with you. I guess I’ve exhausted all my free reach prospects. They have not swiped right on me, either way. And so, “trending” was something that seemed interesting. I paid for it. Nothing.

And what about daily recommendations? (another bonus feature for the Premium+ users)

Again, mostly EMPTY. Even when I was in NY surrounded by people, my recommended came up empty day after day. What again, am I paying for here?

And the biggest *bs* ploy of all dating apps, “Adjust your filters.” Because, there are tons of women who have already LIKED you. In Bumble terms that means, if I expand my distance (to include San Antonio, perhaps, from my home base in Austin, Texas) I’ll see more matches. And these are 26 people who have already swiped right on me. Woohoo!

And it’s *bs* again. Yes, there are 26 women who swiped right on me. Well, the main reason a woman makes the first swipe is she is not getting enough action on her profile. Um, probably not a great fit. And, boom, San Antonio brings a wealth of women who are way outside my wheelhouse of desire. That’s okay.

No, Bumble, I think I’ll keep my distance a bit lower.

Finally chats. This is where the actual conversations happen.

A bit more about me.

And with that, I’m out. Closing my Bumble run right now, today, a bit early. And here’s why.

Online dating is more like TikTok. We’re going to likes, swipes, and follows. No one really cares about finding a partner. Especially the app. If Bumble were so great, I wouldn’t have to pay to be seen by available women in my area.

And SPOLIGHT would be included in these expensive options, rather than continue to be a revenue push from Bumble, even if you’re on their HIGHEST PAID TIER.

Okay, I’m going to say it again. Online dating is a game. They (Bumble, Match, Tinder, OK Cupid) are all gaming you for dollars. If they were really good at setting you up with a perfect match, guess what? You’ll stop paying. They don’t want to you find a partner. They want to keep your hope alive so you keep paying for passive / social dating.

Get out there in the real world. Do you. Continue to improve yourself and do a better you each day. As you show up in your own life, doing what makes you happy, look around at others. Find someone who is also playing tennis on a Friday night rather than a happy hour and streaming marathon.

Get out there. Keep your eyes open. Let go of the quest. Just be amazingly you.

One last step.