What Makes Dating Hard: Can We Be Honest Online and In-Person?
So, let's at least say, online dating is complicated. Even when we think we have our preferences and objectives clear in our mind, our animal drives can subvert our rational minds.
So, let's at least say, online dating is complicated. Even when we think we have our preferences and objectives clear in our mind, our animal drives can subvert our rational minds.
If I am genuinely looking for a relationship and not just a date, then my concept of holding out for resonance becomes more critical. I've had a resonant partner once before. I know how that feels and how transformative that can be for both people. Anything less than that is a distraction.
Get right with yourself before moving on to partner with another person. You'll be much more attractive to other healthy people, and better equipped to see and avoid negative relationships.
However, there's a different type of person out there. I was married to one. I have known of others. And they have a different set of criteria. They have flexibility when it comes to transparency and honesty.
Parenting is a spiritual journey that you enter when your kids are born. The relationships you have as parents may change over time, but your parenting is a huge part of what gives your life meaning. To me, my kids are everything. And to my partner, my love of their kids and their love of my kids, is unfathomable and wonderful when it happens.
It's rare when we get the head and the heart to come into sync about another person. Sometimes it's one thing, a serious physical attraction for example, that sets us off, but the other person fails in one of our additional criteria. One thing I'm certain of, I cannot distinguish attraction from an online dating profile.
And, as far as I can plan, I'm planning to go with my lover. Even my aspirational goals consider her. Happiness is far better when shared.