Becoming a single dad was one of the most traumatic events of my life. I did not want the divorce, I fought against the divorce, and ultimately I agreed to collaborative divorce and was taken to the cleaners by an ex who decided to go for the “divorce package” rather than honor our 50/50 shared parenting agreement.
As we become clearer in our boundaries, in what is good for us and what is not good for us, we can make choices more easily. When something doesn't feel good, we're able to say, "NO. This will not work for me."
If two parents want to co-parent as friends, want to share expenses as co-parents, and want what's best for their kids, WE HAVE GOT TO CHANGE THE SYSTEM.
Today, I'm placing my heart with a woman who believes in me, believes in lifetime commitments, and believes in love as a guiding principle.
Get your butt on the trail to recovery and fitness at that same time. And then, if you don't, don't sweat that either. It's easy to be hard on yourself during the holidays. But your own peace of mind, and your own acceptance of yourself, just as you are, is the most important thing you can learn this season.
Once I took my own anger out of the communication loop I began to heal and move on to the next stage.
There's no good way to share that the holidays are a tough time for me. I will be looking after my own health and happiness much of this season, to assure that no meltdown occurs in my life. But I will also leave some of my bandwidth open for my kids.
So what are the alternatives to online dating? If I'm not going to browse and click my way into a new relationship, what's it going to take?
IN THE PRESENT MOMENT: Ask yourself in moments of doubt, "Is this towards my higher purpose, or away from my higher purpose?" Then choose accordingly.