Nothing Can Prepare You For the Loss of Divorce
I would have NEVER gone for more than the 50/50 shared parenting we agreed to when we began the collaborative divorce discussions.
Parenting is the biggest adventure you can set in motion. By becoming parents you are agreeing to give a priority to your children, over yourself. The sacrifice of becoming a parent is about making a better life for our kids.
As parents, our relationship may not work out. In divorce, we’ve got an opportunity to remain connected as a cooperative co-parent. Our role as divorced parents is to support our kids with less concern for ourselves or our disappointment in our ex-partner. It is important to leave your anger and frustration behind, and pay attention to your kids and their needs.
I would have NEVER gone for more than the 50/50 shared parenting we agreed to when we began the collaborative divorce discussions.
The general mode of life with dad is positive and happy. I am *so* happy to have them on the days and nights I am afforded, that there is little room for complaints or nagging.
Don't get caught up in nostalgia that doesn't inform or help you. When you find you're moping in the sadness of nostalgic regret, change the channel.
What makes your life worth living? How can you define the parts of your life you'd like to lean into more as you get more time?
If you put your kids first you may need to fight to get what you want. And by putting your kids first, sometimes you may have to fight their mom. But to be the best dad you can be, you have to be there, you have to spend time with your kids. All of that time that was taken away is now water under the bridge, but today it's much more clear for me. I take every offer to have the kids an extra night or to support my ex when she has to work late.
When I get out of balance in life, I usually struggle with one of these EPIC issues: money kids love. These three areas are pressure points when things get stressful.
And at that moment, I also felt the joy of my father's love upon me. He might have left the planet 15 years ago, but his love is still within me. And each time I can really hear and connect with my own kids, my heart lights up with a little bit more healing of my 5-year-old self, my wounded little boy.
Single Father Manifesto - The Whole Parent - John McElhenney, life coach in austin, texas