Love is the core skill and core need we all have. Many of us grew up in homes where love was conditional. If you behave this way I will love you. If you go against my wishes, I will exclude you from my love. This is not how love works. Love is universal energy, either you’re tapped into it and give it freely, or you are lacking in love.
If you can pause and consider the gap when you feel frustrated or impatient, you can tune in to your own feelings more accurately. And if you give your partner the opportunity to fill the gap you may learn something you didn't know, and something you couldn't have learned had you continued to be a gap crasher.
In this sacred life, we have a limited number of hours in our day. The same number of hours as every other being in our space-time continuum. By checking in with your intentions and actions on a regular basis you can begin adjusting your life towards the life you want.
What you do together is life. What you think about doing together is imagination. Bringing those to ideas together into all the things you like to do, anticipate doing in the near future, and aspire to do as part of your long-term goals... All of this is part of building and nurturing a relationship for the future.
Some days it is good to just stop and say "thank you" to your higher power, your family, your partner. Today is that day. I'm marking a high-point in my life.
I believe you deserve the same opportunities I had. I'm not a magician. I am just a man walking a path of peacefulness and active kindness.
The goal is never to blame the other person for the breakup, even if they were the reason you are breaking up. Always take your responsibility for the miss. And make it about the chemistry, the mix, the overall relationship and not about them or their poor behavior. Remember, you are leaving the relationship, not trying to teach them a lesson or educate them.
And when things don't go in our favor, even when we are not given 50/50 parenting, it is still our responsibility as men, to lead from a position of love and strength.
When you lose your kids to divorce and then to teenagehood, you really have to begin letting them go. It's only two years before my son will be heading out on his big adventure. What can I do with him in the next two years? How can I show up for both of them?