Finding joy in your life is a big part of the plan.
I believe we have set points, but not of happiness, of joy. I know that even in moments of extreme grief I can feel joy. Joy is a pursuit. Joy is either a focus of your attention or not. It’s kind of like being positive, but it’s different.
Joy is different than happiness. Joy is part of our internal compass. You’ve got to find your own inner joy. It’s a big shift, this focus on inner joy and not outer happiness. I cannot control many of the aspects of my life. I am not always happy. But, I am learning to be always joyful.
However, there's a different type of person out there. I was married to one. I have known of others. And they have a different set of criteria. They have flexibility when it comes to transparency and honesty.
Parenting is a spiritual journey that you enter when your kids are born. The relationships you have as parents may change over time, but your parenting is a huge part of what gives your life meaning. To me, my kids are everything. And to my partner, my love of their kids and their love of my kids, is unfathomable and wonderful when it happens.
Release the relationships that are not meeting your basic conditions of satisfaction. And nourish and build relationships that build warm and fuzzy connections.
Alignment with our hearts and minds is only useful if there is heat to fuel your adventures together. Let's keep the fires burning, while jointly navigating the star maps. Our destination might be unknown, but our partnership gets more solid and joyful with each passing day we spend together.
It's hard to understand what JOY + JOY feels like when you've only experienced less. Once. you know it, however, you're never going to settle for "meh" or "okay."
It's rare when we get the head and the heart to come into sync about another person. Sometimes it's one thing, a serious physical attraction for example, that sets us off, but the other person fails in one of our additional criteria. One thing I'm certain of, I cannot distinguish attraction from an online dating profile.
My recovery focused on a lot of supportive activities and rituals. The Al-anon meetings provided a healthy and spiritual community for me to stay connected. My Al-anon sponsor continued to show up in my life as a guide and cheerleader.
Yes. We deserve to burn brightly. We crave that other flame that will bring additional heat and passion and beauty to our lives. However, without our own flame, we are more likely to be looking for a light. That’s the wrong way to enter into a relationship.