Divorce, once mentioned, is a slippery and difficult journey. As you pull apart the lives you’ve built together, there will be anger, resentment, frustration, and even joy, and ecstasy. But the divorce is hard on everyone. Listen for who needs support and then give your love and attention. Always.
POSITIVE DIVORCE (is a concept, an alignment, an intention I use as I go through life as a single dad.)
Divorce is one of the most disorienting events in my life. Everything was lost. I have made a point of trying to turn the bad points into positive information. I am here support you as best I can to lessen the impact on your children. Divorce is the beginning of a new journey. You can make it better for everyone by paying attention to what matters. Your anger at your ex needs to be handled on your own.
As our kids grow up, our past transgressions and lies will come back to haunt us. I don't think I've lied to them, other than the agreed upon lie (giving my wife the all-important cover) that the divorce was a mutual decision. It was not.
One of my kids is thrilled to stay in touch with me. We FaceTime most days. I offer them support and advice. My other kid only reaches out, or even responds to my texts, when they want money.
"I understand I have disappointed you. And that's okay. You are disappointed. Let's talk about what we're going to do next."
What I've got is my state of happiness and peace. I no longer fight with her about anything. I no longer ask her for anything. I keep my communications primarily with my kids. As far as I'm concerned, she's no longer the superpower she was.
I'm not here to lecture DM on their bias or their angry thrust. I do hope that my comments stir some feathers at the top, and perhaps they address the absence of the good dad from their entire platform.
In today's divorce world, dads are still seen as breadwinners and second-class parents. And there are plenty of scripts that show this to be true.
Make things a little bit easier, by being kind and considerate to the other parent in your kids' lives. Love your kids enough to leave your ex in peace.
A good divorce is when parents remain nice to each other for the good of the children.