Listening to the Sadness
I learned to do a killer swan dive that summer at the country club. In my feelings of sadness and dread of the coming hurricane of divorce, I began to detach from the happy rich kid.
Depression showed up in many ways in my life. My management of these dark moods has become part of my lifetime discipline. Long-term sadness may be something deeper and more serious. Learn how to take charge of your depressive or manic cycles with mindfulness and a good support team.
Here are a few of my latest posts about managing my moods. Your results may vary. But, here’s the answer: keep going, depression comes in waves, you just have to keep moving forward, back into the positive things in your life. Sometimes it takes someone else to help you see the good in your life.
I have written mostly about my experience of depression after divorce. But I had depressive tendencies before I was married. And I still struggle with depressive episodes from time to time. Often triggered by a traumatic event, like a job loss or a relationship coming apart, being sad can become more of a personality trait if depression is not nipped in the bud.
Mindfulness is my answer to depression and my own depressive thoughts. It is critical for each of us to learn our depressive patterns, triggers, and solutions. What can I do when I’m starting to feel the dark slippery slope of depression?
I learned to do a killer swan dive that summer at the country club. In my feelings of sadness and dread of the coming hurricane of divorce, I began to detach from the happy rich kid.
Here's what that looks like. About 2 - 3 times a year, they freeze my bank accounts. I call them. They ask how much money is in the accounts. (As if they don't know.) Then they take 50% of everything I have. And in the course of the next few days, my banks will unfreeze the rest of the money. Effectively, I am left with zero dollars.
I don't want a single parent to get lost in the shuffle of divorce. I want fathers and mothers to have equal access to their children, even in the case of divorce.
Always respect the other parent. Keep fathers in their kids' lives by giving them half a chance to maintain that relationship. The same chance you have.
I am just where I need to be. I can make better choices when I have a choice. It is important that I plan ahead for my food, exercise, and sleep. It is up to me to be healthier, fitter, and adequately rested.
I lost everything in that moment. I lost my fighting spirit. I agreed to the Standard Possession Order (SPO) schedule and I agreed to let my wife be the custodial parent.
Know what does it for you and being able to show or tell your partner is a key ingredient for evolved sex. As we can let go of traditional SEX as the goal and open up to the full range of erotic experiences, we can expand our pleasure and our sexual vocabularies.
Divorce is not the end of the world. However, it's often the end of most dad's major bonding and influence with his kids. Most divorces end with dads being marginalized by the family court precedents.